Essay 3 revision ideas

The essay that I chose to revise is the Visual Analysis essay. I chose to revise this essay because I have a lot of strengths in this essay but I just have a few things to work on. This essay was easier than the Rhetorical Analysis essay therefore, I can create more ideas to put in my essay so that it can be polished and I can receive a good grade on Essay three. I need to work on my topic sentences, ending sentences, and relating them back to my thesis. I also need to work on repeating myself because whenever I run out of thoughts, I seem to be repetitive. I need to also balance between description and analysis because I mix and match my paragraphs and do not focus on one particular topic in my paragraphs. I plan to add more discussion before I start to talk about my thesis in my introduction paragraph. I also plan on adding more to my conclusion because I do not elaborate enough to make my argument valid. I need to leave my readers with something to think about because that will keep the reader interested. In order to make my argument more clear, I need to elaborate on my thoughts and my opinions and information clear.

Should Fantasies be Judged or no?

Who says that fantasies are wrong and should be criminalized? Fantasies are something that can help people cope with certain things such as traumatic events, and stress. After reading “Be Careful Not to Criminalize Fantasies”, An NY Times article, I have realized that there are a lot of people that have many different thoughts about fantasizing. Some people may think that it is weird and some people may think that it is completely normal. In reality, is it normal or is it weird? The answer to this question is more opinionated than factual. Even though there are some facts about how people actually fantasize, not many people know them. With all of her experiences and opinions, the author convinces you but, she does not have enough facts to make her argument valid. 

Facts make an argument valid because it is actual data. The author states her opinion of fantasizing as “The power of fantasy that lies in the capacity to explore, without restriction, the inner recesses and outer limits of our psyche.” As the article goes on, she argues that people should not be punished for what they fantasize about because it is normal. Instead of including facts into her argument, she states her opinion about fantasizing.  This is her opinion because as she talks about why it’s normal and healthy to fantasize, she says that fantasizing should not be illegal. There is not any true-life proof that fantasizing is healthy and normal. In the article, she uses her own opinions to state information about fantasizing. For example, Williams states “Negotiating and fulfilling fantasies with consenting parties can be healthy.” If she would have included accurate data then her argument would have been valid. She also talks about how fantasizing is healthy and how talking about what you fantasize about is healthy. Her opinion about fantasizing comes from her experiences with fantasizing. If she were to state some facts about fantasizing and then incorporate her opinions in with the facts, that would have made her argument valid and make people believe what she is saying. The opinions that were stated are believable but does not prove her argument.

Finding a safe place to store all of your thoughts is a good idea, but only when that safe place is actually safe. When the author says that people tend find a safe place online to share their fantasies; it made me think about how the Internet is not as safe as everyone seems to think. Anything that is put on the Internet can easily be changed and seen. There is no “safe place” on the internet. Anyone that searches something in Google can easily find this “safe place” and read everything that these people are fantasizing about. Most people do not want to put themselves out there because they would rather keep everything to themselves. She states, “By seeking out like-minded people online and offline, you increase the opportunity to bring a secret desire to reality.” She describes this as a “healthy reality”. How, in fact, does this make a healthy reality if all this website is for is to put people’s business out in the open? This proves that her argument is based off of her opinions because she does not have anything that proves any of her information. The lack of facts in this article is a weakness of the article as a whole.

In conlusion, the article, “Be Careful Not to Criminalize Fantasies”, talks about how people are judged on what they fantasize about and how the author thinks that this should not be the case. People should people able to talk about what they fantasize about because it helps them vent about things that are secretive and may be making them feel some type of way. Venting is always a good way to get your emotions and thoughts out so that they are not held in and this is what the author is trying to say in her article. The way she goes about it, though, does not make her argument valid because she does not state any facts or statistics to make the readers believe that what she is saying is actually true, even though it is her opinion. If she would have stated some facts and statistics that would have made her article also seem more professional and well thought out. She also could have included some interviews from people that have fantasized before. She could have asked them plenty of questions and that would have made her argument more convincing than it was. Therefore, adding more information into her article would have made her argument more convincing.

 

Taking an Adventure through Cultures

There are many ads that try to convince people to buy their product but, which ones actually do convince people? Advertising a product is supposed to bring your attention to that certain product so that you can go into the store and buys it. The ad I chose was an ad about Snickers. It is well known just how popular Snickers really are. In this advertisement, there is a sponsorship building, a football field and a park. Many people would be confused as to what this ad is trying to say in perspective. This advertisement is selling a multicultural, multilingual, globally connected American identity using the famous Snicker’s candy bar. Snickers are popular regardless of what race you are.

            Most countries look at Americans as being more to their selves and not having knowledge about different cultures. These new generations of people embrace other cultures and they also travel more. Many people would question how a Snicker bar might express how Americans are more culturally active in the new generation. This is because this ad proves that no matter where you are or what your culture may be, a snickers bar is a great snack to eat. It is common for people to eat snickers at football games or even their work place as a snack. It’s quick and easy and everyone around the world loves to eat them. This ad can catch the attention of anyone who loves chocolate. Even though there are some cultures that do not like to eat chocolate, most of them to and this ad would pertain to those certain cultures. This ad puts out America is accepting of anyone. Snickers represents equality within people because of the different cultures that are represented in this ad.

            The emotion appeal behind this ad is Ethos because ethos is the characteristics of a culture and its beliefs. The visual aspect of this ad proves that the emotion appeal of this ad is Ethos because of the pictures shown. The sponsorship building actually does have an effect on viewers.  When a viewer needs the products or services that the sponsor offers, advertising of this and many other sorts will likely be remembered by the viewer, and many people will, in that case, tend to buy an advertised product more often than not. The picture of the sponsorship building also shows that the snickers campaign is a great sponsor and they sponsor many things. The football game scene, which includes the football lights, football TV screen, and the speakers show that Snickers is a sponsor for the NFL and many people indulge in the great taste of snickers as they are watching a football game.  The blimp shows that American now travel more and it is because of the snickers candy bar. The office buildings show that even professional workers in an office setting like to eat snickers whether it’s on break or while they are working. The park is set up like an adventure, which shows that while eating a snicker bar, there is an adventure going through your mouth. The advertisement makes people remember and feel comfortable wherever they may be.

            Overall, I’ve realized that there is more to an advertisement than the picture. In order to analyze an advertisement, you need to think outside the box. This ad proves that snickers brings you happiness and it does not matter what your culture or background may be.

             

USA Today Snapshot

This picture shows what people do when they call in to work sick. 53% stayed home and watched tv, 45% stayed in bed, 38% took care of a sick family member, 25% went shopping and 23% met up friends or relatives.

Instagram

Based on my Instagram, a future business would think of me to be a very photogenic person because I take a lot of pictures daily. There is not anything on my Instagram that portrays me to be a bad person because I do not post pictures with vulgar language, alcohol, or illegal substances. I think my instagram is a great picture/social network that is supposed to show the fun you have throughout your life with the people you love and share it with. I post pictures of myself, family, and friends. Even though it is my account and I can decide what I put up there, I decided not post things up there to portray me to be a bad person because of future jobs and the family members that do follow me on Instagram.

President Obama

During President Obama’s speech on Monday, he seemed so caring and heartfelt and he you can tell that he meant everything that he was saying. He spoke about the American Culture by saying “Each time we gather to inaugurate a President; we bear witness to the enduring strength of our Constitution. We affirm the promise of our democracy. We recall that what binds this nation together is not the colors of our skin or the tenets of our faith or the origins of our names”.  This is talking about the American Culture because he is speaking about what we Americans do every time a new president is inaugurated. He speaks in a serious tone so that the audience knows that he is serious about what he is saying and that he cares about the people. When he speaks to the people, he says “we” a lot to show that everyone is equal and should be created equal. He thinks as himself as one of us which puts him in a great place because the people of America appreciate that quality in a president. Most past presidents do not look at themselves to be as equal as everyone else. In my opinion, that shows a lot and the way he is and the way he handles certain situations gets him a lot of respect from the American people. For example, Obama states “Together, we resolved that a great nation must care for the vulnerable, and protect its people from life’s worst hazards and misfortune”. This shows that he is a great president.

Alcohol Vs. Marijuana

           Ever seen a person high? Well, how about someone that was drunk? Ever took the time and thought whether or not alcohol is more dangerous than marijuana? People smoke and drink to have fun with their friends at parties and other social outings but they never think of the consequences one or even both of them may cause. Using visual descriptions, this image shows that drinking alcohol is more dangerous than smoking marijuana.

            In this picture, it shows a marijuana plant, people smoking it, people eating because of the munchies that smoking marijuana causes, and then the people that were smoking feeling loopy because of the high they are under. It also shows a bottle of alcohol, people drinking it, people getting into a car after drinking, and then the people that were drinking in a car accident because of how drunk the alcohol made them. The words on the picture state “Can you guess which one is legal?”. Now, we all know which one is legal and which one should be legal. Alcohol is the most dangerous which means that alcohol should be illegal and Marijuana should be legal because there aren’t nearly as many deaths caused by marijuana as caused by alcohol.

            I’ve always wondered why smoking marijuana was illegal and drinking alcohol was not. Driving while under the influence of alcohol is much more dangerous than driving while under the influence of marijuana. I’m not saying that people should drive while under the influence of any drug or alcohol but, people seem to drive while under the influence of alcohol more often just because it is legal.