The essay that I chose to revise is the Visual Analysis
essay. I chose to revise this essay because I have a lot of strengths in this
essay but I just have a few things to work on. This essay was easier than the
Rhetorical Analysis essay therefore, I can create more ideas to put in my essay
so that it can be polished and I can receive a good grade on Essay three. I
need to work on my topic sentences, ending sentences, and relating them back to
my thesis. I also need to work on repeating myself because whenever I run out
of thoughts, I seem to be repetitive. I need to also balance between
description and analysis because I mix and match my paragraphs and do not focus
on one particular topic in my paragraphs. I plan to add more discussion before I
start to talk about my thesis in my introduction paragraph. I also plan on
adding more to my conclusion because I do not elaborate enough to make my
argument valid. I need to leave my readers with something to think about
because that will keep the reader interested. In order to make my argument more
clear, I need to elaborate on my thoughts and my opinions and information
clear.
